Hi Sally! I just read your introduction to your project - wow great job! I have to admit I have never really heard about Selkie's and I'm already kind of sweating because I feel like the daughter is definitely going to ignore her mothers warning!! Seriously, great job on your story - the part about her ripping the fish to shreds made me laugh and the whole mother / daughter main characters really felt unique. I also felt like you set up the story in a really natural way - a mother telling stories to her daughter. This is such a classic mythological way to tell a story and I really dig it! All and all you're doing awesome and I'm sending you major happy thoughts as you continue working on your project! Have a great week!
Hi Sally! I really, really love your introduction and I cannot wait to read the rest of your stories! I have read a few stories, and various Irish myths, that mention selkies, but mostly they were only mentioned in short little blurbs. I've never read anything in depth, but I've always liked them. I adore seals in general, so that helps. I can't wait to read what you write next! You pulled me into the story very quickly and created an emotional attachment with the characters that blended very well with the narrative. As I was reading, I found myself feeling worried about what might happen to Niamh. I really hope that she listens to her mother! On a different not, your site and your pictures are lovely. They add to the ambiance of your storybook, beautiful and just a little sad and poignant. It's also very easy to navigate and is well organized, which is nice. I look forward to your next story!
Sally, I just read your introduction to your Selkie Tales. I thought that this was an interesting topic choice, and I would like to read some of the stories in the future. I am doing my own project over Celtic mythology, so it is nice to see another project with a similar theme! It was a good choice to explain what a selkie is through the mother/daughter relationship. This way, you are not talking directly at the reader, but they are still learning. It is nice because the reader does not feel like you are directly teaching them something that they should already know. Rather, they can learn with the young seal and experience things through her eyes. You also did a great job with the imagery of Scotland and the sea. I have the feeling that Niamh will make a mistake on her sunbathing adventure and will herself become a selkie.
Sally, I was so happy to receive your name in the randomizer again this week! I also read your Intro last week. Adding the music video you did was such a good choice for an introduction, as it has this kind of get-up-and-go feeling to it. Also, I loved that you changed the name of the mother seal from Rachel to Mirna. Mirna has a much more authentic, Celtic feeling to it than Rachel does (although I am not sure about the etymology of either name). Also, I do not remember the exact format that the Storybook took before, but this time it is laid out even more nicely. Separating all of the dialogue was a good idea since it makes it easy for the reader to keep their place in the story. As I said last time, I am very excited to read more of your stories in the following weeks. Good job on this!
Hey Sally, what a great start for the introduction to your story book! It looks like you have really done your research with what you have so far. The music video at the beginning is a great touch because it gets the reader into the Celtic vibes of your story book. I really like that you are incorporating seals as your animal. They can be portrayed as really cute, but also can be violent in the animal world. This could be used to your advantage depending on where you want to go with this story. I also like that you are doing a story within a story kind of theme. A lot of the stories we read for this class also have this theme and I really like it! It makes for an easy transition into the other stories that you write. Anyways great start, can't wait to see where you go with this next week!
Wow, this was a really cool introduction! I did not know what to expect when I began reading. I have not read very many storybooks so far. I thought yours was fantastic! I really liked how you built up the action for the next addition to the storybook. I was really impressed with the amount of human-like qualities you were able to give the seals. This really made it easy to sympathize with Mirna and Niamh. You were able to really stress just how much Mirna cares for her daughter seal. I am really interested in the selkies that you foreshadowed. Is Niamh going to become one of these selkies? That would make for a really interesting and sad tale! I am looking forward to what you will write about next! There is an endless amount of creative options here! You can take these stories in any direction that you want. I admire the amount of creative freedom you have with your storybook. I am sure the next story will be great!
Hi Sally, I love how your introduction was a story in itself! You have great pictures as well that really set the backdrop for the stories. Where did you get the names for your seals? Are they Irish? One suggestion - I think it would be more interesting on your home page if you gave the story a name instead of just having the number there. It would look more elegant and intrigue the reader. Your word choice is nice - you really emphasize that the fisherman did not truly love her. I enjoyed the story very much. I think you could make the ending even more dramatic though - perhaps have her picture her daughter left behind with the fisherman who had been so cruel to her or something like that, or have her regret that decision for the rest of her life. Both would fit the frame tale really well.
Hi Sally! I really like the topic you have chosen! And the aesthetic of your website is amazing! The story was beautifully written. The Introductions pairs very well with the first story, as I am sure it will with the rest of the stories you will be writing. It provided a very good intro to this topic. The seal characters in the Fisher man's wife are amazing and a great touch to a touching story. The relationship between the fisherman and his wife was so real and was very well portrayed. You found a very clever connection between the original story of the The Mermaid Wife and this story you have written. Where you keep similar character roles and setting, but change the characters themselves. Great story! I look forward to more stories!
Hello Sally, I love the topic that you have chose and ran with. Initially my thoughts are that you really like your topic but also seem to know a little bit about it! I was impressed with your use of videos and sound clips in junction with your introduction and story. I also loved that you put in so many different photos into your story to really give a feel for what you are trying to portray in the story, including the characters. The seal and the fisherman have really unfolded to have interesting characteristics and interact well together. I know we are suppose to be giving feedback but I don't really know what else I can tell you to try and do because I am really impressed with everything you have and the way your story is unfolding as well! Good luck in the future assignments and I'm sure I'll be stopping in to see how it is going.
Sally, Mirna's tale is really tragic! I thought it was so gross when she married the fisherman. I hope that she is able to find a way to live with her baby while also getting to live near her mother in the sea. It would also be nice to see some bad karma fall onto the fisherman as what he did was heartless and weird. I did notice that the Intro and the first story are told in different tenses, so I would work on writing them in the same tense. It's terrible that Mirna's baby is left in the fisherman's house all alone. It would be nice to hear about her mother, since she was the focus in the Intro. She's a very protective seal and I'm sure she was very worried the whole time that Mirna was gone. I hope that Mirna can get her daughter back soon. Good job on this!
Hi Sally, I absolutely loved your storybook! It's a heart-wrenching tale, which is my favorite kind of tale! I don't know a lot about selkies so that was really interesting to read and learn about! The music and sound elements that accompany your story are really cool, I haven't seen that in other projects so far. I think they fit really well into your story and give it a little something extra! I also think that the images you used were on point!! They are all simple and pretty and fit the story perfectly! I think you might want to consider adding a background color to your pages. Maybe a soft blue or green or something to visually invoke the feeling of the ocean. That way the reader feels totally immersed.
I hope in your next section you'll talk more about her daughter! Is her daughter going to be able to become a seal? Why can't she just go back on land and find her again and bring her home? Is the fisherman evil? Is he going to hold his daughter captive till his wife comes back?
Hey Sally, I really enjoyed your storybook. The introduction does a great job of getting the information about Mirna, the mom, and Niamh, the daughter and also sets up the lead ins for the future stories. It was a great idea to have some dialogue between Mirna and Niamh at the start of the new stories to keep them all connected.
In the first story, The Fisherman’s Wife, I like the moral of the story. Even though it has a sad ending, it also helps depict how sad and upsetting it would be for a seal to lose its skin. In the author’s notes you explain that the selkie are like mermaids. I was curious if it was something you made up or you learned through research.
You have a really great storybook project and I am excited to get to see the finished project.
Hi Sally! This is the first week that i have looked at your storybook and I really enjoyed getting to see what you have been working on thus far. I was really impressed with how you presented all of your information in the introduction so that the reader could have a clear picture of what was going on. One suggestion I would have is to somehow provide a little bit more of a background on the selfie. You seem to have a pretty great grasp of this concept yourself as the author of the storybook but it is something that I found slightly confusing and I could see where other readers might also. Aside from that, I thought you did a really great job with the works you have included and I can't wait to see where you will take the collection in the coming weeks.
Hi there Sally! It's nice to meet ya! Super cool website, and super cool ideas! I will say it is different from others things I have seen thus far. I do need to thank you for your introduction, they are seriously so helpful!! Every comment I have left so far, if they did not have an introduction, I leave the suggestion of writing one. They do so much for a reader! They introduce characters, what they are going to do, and helps set up expectations for the rest of writing. I really did not know much about this topic before I came to your storybook, and I think you did a great job introducing this to novice readers. You have got this writing thing down! While I am not the biggest fan of stories that do not work out for the team you are rooting for, I see why it is necessary here, and you definitely make it work. Great job and Happy Writing!
Hi Sally! I love how you added music into your intro. This really helps to set the tone for your storybook and really brings it to life. I also really like all of the pictures you chose. Your audio files seriously add so much to your stories! I love it. Your Fisherman story is really good. I like how you stuck to the same plot and just added details. I find myself doing this with a lot of stories, since I feel there is not a lot of detail in them. Great job! I really like how you are using the story within a story idea! These are definitely my favorite to read! I also like the moral of the story idea, so it works perfectly using a mother telling their child a story. Will any of the future stories imply what the child does? Will she head her mother's warnings? I cannot wait to read more.
Hi Sally! Your introduction did a great job setting up the scene for the next couples stories you are telling. Instead of a continuous story or a flash back, you chose a very unique take in that you had the mother tell tales of misfortunes. All in an effort to teach her daughter a lesson about the sea. When I first read about seals shedding their skin I was very confused and wondered how they did this. Were they a human trapped in a seal body? When they are in seal form are they still human? I didn't truly understand it until I read about it in your author's note. That's when I found about about the selkie. It's still a little confusing, so if you explain it a little more it could make the understanding of your tales a lot better. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. Keep up the great writing!
Hi Sally! All of your stories are so great! I read your introduction a while ago and I was looking forward to seeing what you would add to it. You didn't disappoint! The first story about the selkie and the fisherman was so terribly sad. My heart broke for her when she got captured, and again when she realized that she'd abandoned the daughter that she loved. I think that choosing a slightly more upbeat story, or at least one with a happier ending, was a good choice for your storybook. It creates a nice ebb and flow that keeps the reader emotionally involved without getting horribly depressed. Your writing is wonderful and I'm excited to see how your storybook ends!
I really liked your stories. You did a great job with visual imagery. Not to mention your introduction was a great foretell to what you would continue writing about. I liked your second story the most although it was really sad that the seals had to leave their family and start their lives all alone.
Hi Sally! I had never heard of a selkie before, so your stories were really interesting to me. I appreciated that you took the opportunity to explain what a selkie is in your introduction, or I would've been totally lost. I thought the first story about the selkie who had lost her sealskin was just heartbreaking — the character couldn't have the best of both worlds in her life. She either got to stay with her daughter or be reunited with her mother. I wish there was a way for her to have been with both! I appreciated that the second story had a happier ending, for sure, and I like that these stories are from a mother talking to a daughter — it gives the stories a personal, wise feel. One suggestion I would make about your blog presentation is perhaps to use a larger font — the small font and the paragraphs that span the whole screen are a little tough to read.
Sally, great to be checking in with your story again! I just read "Alena's Daughter" which was so great (and sad!) Your project has been so fun to follow because you clearly put a lot of work into it but still keep it brief (I'm a rambler so that's my biggest struggle) I really enjoyed the way you flipped the gender in this story - I honestly liked it better having the mother be Selkie. Although I could have done without the Dad killing the mother and child - so sad! Overall your project has been so awesome and well thought out! Keep up the good work!
In my earlier comment I thought you'd be continuing the story about the fisherman and though I'm sad that's not what happened, I was pleasantly surprised with the new installments. I still wish you would add a bit of color to your site as I think that would make it more aesthetically pleasing. I think it might be good to add in Nimah's reaction to the stories she hears after the tale is over. You start with her and her mother being present and then go into the story but we don't see them again until the beginning of the next story. This gives the effect of your project being a portfolio rather than a storybook. It can be a bit confusing, at times, to figure out exactly who the main characters are and what their ultimate goal is. I think you do a great job adapting the original stories you used. I especially love the gender swap in Alena's Daughter. That went over smoothly and I almost expected the tale to go that way originally until I read your author's note! Great job! I can't wait to see how it ends!
Hi Sally! Wow, I am visiting your project for the first time, and I am so glad I got the randomizer got me to your storybook before the semester ended. First off, I really like the way you have created your website. I think it just really helps set the tone for your writing. I was able to read all of your stories, and they were all very well written. The way you separate each scene, paragraph of dialogue, or whatever the story may entail really helped with the flow your writing. Sometimes even formatting your story a different way can make all of the difference. From the stories you wrote, I would have to say that my favorite one is "Alena's Daughter". With a story like this I can image all of the plot changes you would have to come up with since you used the method of switching gender roles as your storytelling method. I think you did a wonderful job, especially in scenes where you stated that it would be hard just to keep the role of a man. I have never read the original story, but seeing your recommendation to go back and read it, I may do so with the Extra Reading option I have. As a whole, I think you have a wonderfully crafted website and story book. I really am glad I got the opportunity to visit your storybook before the end of the semester! Best of luck with the last couple of weeks we have left!
Sally, I have been to your storybook several times, and I read the last story today. Just as with all of your other tales, it was well written and the style and plot flowed very nicely. It is clear that you took the time to think all of these stories through and that you were very interested in the topic that you chose for your project. In the last story, Alena's Daughter, I thought that it was great that you included a music video from a Celtic play on selkies. Putting the video at the top of your post allows your readers to choose whether they want to listen before or during reading the story. You did a great job of conveying emotion in this tale. I could picture Alena and could imagine her felling in love with a stranger very easily. I am sure that Niamh will be a careful selkie because of these stories!
Hi Sally! I wanted to come back to your storybook during this last week of class because I remember being really intrigued by the concept of selkies! When I first visited, I believe I only read the introduction and first story, so this time I'm back to read the last two stories. I love that your second story has a happier ending than the first — it's so much better when people can be reunited at the end of the story, in my opinion. I also really like that these stories are being told to Niamh by her mother. Your story Alena's Daughter was definitely improved by adding a song to listen to during the story! I feel like it set the scene really nicely, and it actually reminded me of some calming Legend of Zelda music I listen to when I have to study really intensely. I also like that you ended the storybook on a positive note — Mirna and Niamh deciding to go make some nice stories about being selkies. Great job with your storybook, Sally!
Hi Sally! I just read your introduction to your project - wow great job! I have to admit I have never really heard about Selkie's and I'm already kind of sweating because I feel like the daughter is definitely going to ignore her mothers warning!! Seriously, great job on your story - the part about her ripping the fish to shreds made me laugh and the whole mother / daughter main characters really felt unique. I also felt like you set up the story in a really natural way - a mother telling stories to her daughter. This is such a classic mythological way to tell a story and I really dig it! All and all you're doing awesome and I'm sending you major happy thoughts as you continue working on your project! Have a great week!
ReplyDeleteHi Sally!
ReplyDeleteI really, really love your introduction and I cannot wait to read the rest of your stories! I have read a few stories, and various Irish myths, that mention selkies, but mostly they were only mentioned in short little blurbs. I've never read anything in depth, but I've always liked them. I adore seals in general, so that helps. I can't wait to read what you write next! You pulled me into the story very quickly and created an emotional attachment with the characters that blended very well with the narrative. As I was reading, I found myself feeling worried about what might happen to Niamh. I really hope that she listens to her mother! On a different not, your site and your pictures are lovely. They add to the ambiance of your storybook, beautiful and just a little sad and poignant. It's also very easy to navigate and is well organized, which is nice. I look forward to your next story!
Sally, I just read your introduction to your Selkie Tales. I thought that this was an interesting topic choice, and I would like to read some of the stories in the future. I am doing my own project over Celtic mythology, so it is nice to see another project with a similar theme! It was a good choice to explain what a selkie is through the mother/daughter relationship. This way, you are not talking directly at the reader, but they are still learning. It is nice because the reader does not feel like you are directly teaching them something that they should already know. Rather, they can learn with the young seal and experience things through her eyes. You also did a great job with the imagery of Scotland and the sea. I have the feeling that Niamh will make a mistake on her sunbathing adventure and will herself become a selkie.
ReplyDeleteSally, I was so happy to receive your name in the randomizer again this week! I also read your Intro last week. Adding the music video you did was such a good choice for an introduction, as it has this kind of get-up-and-go feeling to it. Also, I loved that you changed the name of the mother seal from Rachel to Mirna. Mirna has a much more authentic, Celtic feeling to it than Rachel does (although I am not sure about the etymology of either name). Also, I do not remember the exact format that the Storybook took before, but this time it is laid out even more nicely. Separating all of the dialogue was a good idea since it makes it easy for the reader to keep their place in the story. As I said last time, I am very excited to read more of your stories in the following weeks. Good job on this!
ReplyDeleteHey Sally, what a great start for the introduction to your story book! It looks like you have really done your research with what you have so far. The music video at the beginning is a great touch because it gets the reader into the Celtic vibes of your story book. I really like that you are incorporating seals as your animal. They can be portrayed as really cute, but also can be violent in the animal world. This could be used to your advantage depending on where you want to go with this story. I also like that you are doing a story within a story kind of theme. A lot of the stories we read for this class also have this theme and I really like it! It makes for an easy transition into the other stories that you write. Anyways great start, can't wait to see where you go with this next week!
ReplyDeleteHey there Sally!
ReplyDeleteWow, this was a really cool introduction! I did not know what to expect when I began reading. I have not read very many storybooks so far. I thought yours was fantastic! I really liked how you built up the action for the next addition to the storybook. I was really impressed with the amount of human-like qualities you were able to give the seals. This really made it easy to sympathize with Mirna and Niamh. You were able to really stress just how much Mirna cares for her daughter seal. I am really interested in the selkies that you foreshadowed. Is Niamh going to become one of these selkies? That would make for a really interesting and sad tale! I am looking forward to what you will write about next! There is an endless amount of creative options here! You can take these stories in any direction that you want. I admire the amount of creative freedom you have with your storybook. I am sure the next story will be great!
Hi Sally,
ReplyDeleteI love how your introduction was a story in itself! You have great pictures as well that really set the backdrop for the stories. Where did you get the names for your seals? Are they Irish?
One suggestion - I think it would be more interesting on your home page if you gave the story a name instead of just having the number there. It would look more elegant and intrigue the reader.
Your word choice is nice - you really emphasize that the fisherman did not truly love her.
I enjoyed the story very much. I think you could make the ending even more dramatic though - perhaps have her picture her daughter left behind with the fisherman who had been so cruel to her or something like that, or have her regret that decision for the rest of her life. Both would fit the frame tale really well.
Hi Sally!
ReplyDeleteI really like the topic you have chosen! And the aesthetic of your website is amazing! The story was beautifully written. The Introductions pairs very well with the first story, as I am sure it will with the rest of the stories you will be writing. It provided a very good intro to this topic. The seal characters in the Fisher man's wife are amazing and a great touch to a touching story. The relationship between the fisherman and his wife was so real and was very well portrayed. You found a very clever connection between the original story of the The Mermaid Wife and this story you have written. Where you keep similar character roles and setting, but change the characters themselves. Great story! I look forward to more stories!
Hello Sally,
ReplyDeleteI love the topic that you have chose and ran with. Initially my thoughts are that you really like your topic but also seem to know a little bit about it! I was impressed with your use of videos and sound clips in junction with your introduction and story. I also loved that you put in so many different photos into your story to really give a feel for what you are trying to portray in the story, including the characters. The seal and the fisherman have really unfolded to have interesting characteristics and interact well together. I know we are suppose to be giving feedback but I don't really know what else I can tell you to try and do because I am really impressed with everything you have and the way your story is unfolding as well! Good luck in the future assignments and I'm sure I'll be stopping in to see how it is going.
Sally, Mirna's tale is really tragic! I thought it was so gross when she married the fisherman. I hope that she is able to find a way to live with her baby while also getting to live near her mother in the sea. It would also be nice to see some bad karma fall onto the fisherman as what he did was heartless and weird. I did notice that the Intro and the first story are told in different tenses, so I would work on writing them in the same tense. It's terrible that Mirna's baby is left in the fisherman's house all alone. It would be nice to hear about her mother, since she was the focus in the Intro. She's a very protective seal and I'm sure she was very worried the whole time that Mirna was gone. I hope that Mirna can get her daughter back soon. Good job on this!
ReplyDeleteHi Sally,
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved your storybook! It's a heart-wrenching tale, which is my favorite kind of tale! I don't know a lot about selkies so that was really interesting to read and learn about!
The music and sound elements that accompany your story are really cool, I haven't seen that in other projects so far. I think they fit really well into your story and give it a little something extra!
I also think that the images you used were on point!! They are all simple and pretty and fit the story perfectly!
I think you might want to consider adding a background color to your pages. Maybe a soft blue or green or something to visually invoke the feeling of the ocean. That way the reader feels totally immersed.
I hope in your next section you'll talk more about her daughter! Is her daughter going to be able to become a seal? Why can't she just go back on land and find her again and bring her home? Is the fisherman evil? Is he going to hold his daughter captive till his wife comes back?
I'm really excited to see where this story goes!!
Hey Sally,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your storybook. The introduction does a great job of getting the information about Mirna, the mom, and Niamh, the daughter and also sets up the lead ins for the future stories. It was a great idea to have some dialogue between Mirna and Niamh at the start of the new stories to keep them all connected.
In the first story, The Fisherman’s Wife, I like the moral of the story. Even though it has a sad ending, it also helps depict how sad and upsetting it would be for a seal to lose its skin. In the author’s notes you explain that the selkie are like mermaids. I was curious if it was something you made up or you learned through research.
You have a really great storybook project and I am excited to get to see the finished project.
Hi Sally! This is the first week that i have looked at your storybook and I really enjoyed getting to see what you have been working on thus far. I was really impressed with how you presented all of your information in the introduction so that the reader could have a clear picture of what was going on. One suggestion I would have is to somehow provide a little bit more of a background on the selfie. You seem to have a pretty great grasp of this concept yourself as the author of the storybook but it is something that I found slightly confusing and I could see where other readers might also. Aside from that, I thought you did a really great job with the works you have included and I can't wait to see where you will take the collection in the coming weeks.
ReplyDeleteHi there Sally! It's nice to meet ya!
ReplyDeleteSuper cool website, and super cool ideas! I will say it is different from others things I have seen thus far. I do need to thank you for your introduction, they are seriously so helpful!! Every comment I have left so far, if they did not have an introduction, I leave the suggestion of writing one. They do so much for a reader! They introduce characters, what they are going to do, and helps set up expectations for the rest of writing.
I really did not know much about this topic before I came to your storybook, and I think you did a great job introducing this to novice readers. You have got this writing thing down!
While I am not the biggest fan of stories that do not work out for the team you are rooting for, I see why it is necessary here, and you definitely make it work. Great job and Happy Writing!
Hi Sally! I love how you added music into your intro. This really helps to set the tone for your storybook and really brings it to life. I also really like all of the pictures you chose. Your audio files seriously add so much to your stories! I love it. Your Fisherman story is really good. I like how you stuck to the same plot and just added details. I find myself doing this with a lot of stories, since I feel there is not a lot of detail in them. Great job! I really like how you are using the story within a story idea! These are definitely my favorite to read! I also like the moral of the story idea, so it works perfectly using a mother telling their child a story. Will any of the future stories imply what the child does? Will she head her mother's warnings? I cannot wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteHi Sally!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction did a great job setting up the scene for the next couples stories you are telling. Instead of a continuous story or a flash back, you chose a very unique take in that you had the mother tell tales of misfortunes. All in an effort to teach her daughter a lesson about the sea. When I first read about seals shedding their skin I was very confused and wondered how they did this. Were they a human trapped in a seal body? When they are in seal form are they still human? I didn't truly understand it until I read about it in your author's note. That's when I found about about the selkie. It's still a little confusing, so if you explain it a little more it could make the understanding of your tales a lot better. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. Keep up the great writing!
Hi Sally!
ReplyDeleteAll of your stories are so great! I read your introduction a while ago and I was looking forward to seeing what you would add to it. You didn't disappoint! The first story about the selkie and the fisherman was so terribly sad. My heart broke for her when she got captured, and again when she realized that she'd abandoned the daughter that she loved. I think that choosing a slightly more upbeat story, or at least one with a happier ending, was a good choice for your storybook. It creates a nice ebb and flow that keeps the reader emotionally involved without getting horribly depressed. Your writing is wonderful and I'm excited to see how your storybook ends!
Hi Sally!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your stories. You did a great job with visual imagery. Not to mention your introduction was a great foretell to what you would continue writing about. I liked your second story the most although it was really sad that the seals had to leave their family and start their lives all alone.
Hi Sally! I had never heard of a selkie before, so your stories were really interesting to me. I appreciated that you took the opportunity to explain what a selkie is in your introduction, or I would've been totally lost. I thought the first story about the selkie who had lost her sealskin was just heartbreaking — the character couldn't have the best of both worlds in her life. She either got to stay with her daughter or be reunited with her mother. I wish there was a way for her to have been with both! I appreciated that the second story had a happier ending, for sure, and I like that these stories are from a mother talking to a daughter — it gives the stories a personal, wise feel. One suggestion I would make about your blog presentation is perhaps to use a larger font — the small font and the paragraphs that span the whole screen are a little tough to read.
ReplyDeleteSally, great to be checking in with your story again! I just read "Alena's Daughter" which was so great (and sad!) Your project has been so fun to follow because you clearly put a lot of work into it but still keep it brief (I'm a rambler so that's my biggest struggle) I really enjoyed the way you flipped the gender in this story - I honestly liked it better having the mother be Selkie. Although I could have done without the Dad killing the mother and child - so sad! Overall your project has been so awesome and well thought out! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteIn my earlier comment I thought you'd be continuing the story about the fisherman and though I'm sad that's not what happened, I was pleasantly surprised with the new installments. I still wish you would add a bit of color to your site as I think that would make it more aesthetically pleasing.
ReplyDeleteI think it might be good to add in Nimah's reaction to the stories she hears after the tale is over. You start with her and her mother being present and then go into the story but we don't see them again until the beginning of the next story. This gives the effect of your project being a portfolio rather than a storybook. It can be a bit confusing, at times, to figure out exactly who the main characters are and what their ultimate goal is.
I think you do a great job adapting the original stories you used. I especially love the gender swap in Alena's Daughter. That went over smoothly and I almost expected the tale to go that way originally until I read your author's note!
Great job! I can't wait to see how it ends!
Hi Sally!
ReplyDeleteWow, I am visiting your project for the first time, and I am so glad I got the randomizer got me to your storybook before the semester ended. First off, I really like the way you have created your website. I think it just really helps set the tone for your writing. I was able to read all of your stories, and they were all very well written. The way you separate each scene, paragraph of dialogue, or whatever the story may entail really helped with the flow your writing. Sometimes even formatting your story a different way can make all of the difference. From the stories you wrote, I would have to say that my favorite one is "Alena's Daughter". With a story like this I can image all of the plot changes you would have to come up with since you used the method of switching gender roles as your storytelling method. I think you did a wonderful job, especially in scenes where you stated that it would be hard just to keep the role of a man. I have never read the original story, but seeing your recommendation to go back and read it, I may do so with the Extra Reading option I have. As a whole, I think you have a wonderfully crafted website and story book. I really am glad I got the opportunity to visit your storybook before the end of the semester! Best of luck with the last couple of weeks we have left!
Sally, I have been to your storybook several times, and I read the last story today. Just as with all of your other tales, it was well written and the style and plot flowed very nicely. It is clear that you took the time to think all of these stories through and that you were very interested in the topic that you chose for your project. In the last story, Alena's Daughter, I thought that it was great that you included a music video from a Celtic play on selkies. Putting the video at the top of your post allows your readers to choose whether they want to listen before or during reading the story. You did a great job of conveying emotion in this tale. I could picture Alena and could imagine her felling in love with a stranger very easily. I am sure that Niamh will be a careful selkie because of these stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Sally! I wanted to come back to your storybook during this last week of class because I remember being really intrigued by the concept of selkies! When I first visited, I believe I only read the introduction and first story, so this time I'm back to read the last two stories. I love that your second story has a happier ending than the first — it's so much better when people can be reunited at the end of the story, in my opinion. I also really like that these stories are being told to Niamh by her mother. Your story Alena's Daughter was definitely improved by adding a song to listen to during the story! I feel like it set the scene really nicely, and it actually reminded me of some calming Legend of Zelda music I listen to when I have to study really intensely. I also like that you ended the storybook on a positive note — Mirna and Niamh deciding to go make some nice stories about being selkies. Great job with your storybook, Sally!
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