Feedback Thoughts

While thinking about my responses to feedback throughout the years, I realized that even though I have completed all compulsory education and am halfway through a Bachelor's degree, feedback has hardly been a part of my education. Feedback, especially criticism, is scary, and most of my teachers must have thought it too scary for us students to deal with. I have had very few instances of being required to give feedback to my peers, and many of my teachers did not give me critical feedback. Thinking back, the classes in which I received the most helpful feedback were English classes. I can think of two high school teachers in particular who gave what seemed like harsh feedback at the time. These same two teachers are the ones I regularly think of as having changed me as a student and writer. Outside of school, I depended on my piano teacher to give me feedback about my playing. It was the most satisfying feeling to notice where I could grow musically and practice until I made the piece sound just like I wanted it to. I trusted my teacher deeply and valued the feedback I received from her. And yet I'm still afraid of being criticized and criticizing others! 

I was surprised and humbled to read in "Overcoming the Fear of Feedback" that, according to studies, those of us who think we are protecting others by not giving them constructive criticism are often just protecting ourselves. If we know that the feedback will help others in the long run, and if we know our own self-worth and do not need to be validated or liked, then we shouldn't hesitate to constructively criticize others. Our fear of giving feedback doesn't stem from hurting the other person, but from the fear that they might not like us if we say something negative about them. Knowing this will help me to give better feedback to others, because I won't be able to hide behind the excuse that I don't want to criticize because it might hurt their feelings. This article also talks about feedback in relation to the growth mindset. I discussed in my blog article about growth mindset that I see some characteristics of the fixed mindset in myself. One of these characteristics is embarrassment due to failure. This also applies to receiving feedback: I tend to be embarrassed when I receive criticism, because my fixed mindset is telling me that the feedback is personal. Feedback is not personal, and I know that feedback about stories I write for this class has nothing to do with the core of my person. Knowing about fixed mindset and growth mindset has helped me in the first couple weeks of school to diagnose my negative thoughts and behavior and improve them. Growth mindset is a good tool to have as I start practicing giving and receiving feedback.

I also read "Why Rejection Hurts and What to Do About It", in which Guy Winch states that rejection is impersonal and has nothing to do with our self-worth. Winch says that we tend to beat ourselves up when we are rejected, whether it's a romantic, social, or professional rejection, and that we make the rejection about ourselves on the deepest level rather than about a circumstance or a mistake. I touched on this idea in the last paragraph when I talked about how a fixed mindset can make us believe that our failures are very personal. It is so helpful and freeing to know that we can do things wrong without letting them define us. 

"Because I feel safe, I can learn from my mistakes."

When our self-worth and value feel safe, we can embrace feedback and learn!

Source: Growth Mindset Resources.

Semester Project Topic Brainstorm

The Moon

I get excited about the moon just about every evening when it comes out, and judging by the vast collection of moon stories and myths from cultures all over the world, I don't think I'm the only one! The moon seems to draw in people of all backgrounds and cultures. The sun is heavily discussed in casual and scientific conversations, but the moon is better at inspiring people to write stories about it. Maybe it's because we can look directly at it and see shapes like a man or a hare, or maybe it's because the moon is associated with night, which is more mysterious and eerie than day. I also think it's interesting that, according to Timothy Harley in Moon Lore, moon deities are men more often than they are women. I would have guessed it was the other way around, since women and the moon are both labeled as mysterious, and since in Spanish and French the noun for "moon" is feminine. It might be fun to find and retell stories about the moon as a woman, man, and something else (inanimate or containing an animal, maybe).

Screenshot from the 1902 film Le Voyage dans la Lune (A Trip to the Moon).

Source: Wikimedia Commons.

Women Saints

As I discussed in my post about reading options earlier this week, I am interested in stories about women saints because I like the mysticism of Catholicism and I am interested in the treatment and portrayal of women during Biblical times and the Middle Ages. I've had quite a bit of exposure to the Bible, but I haven't read many stories about saints from after Biblical times. If I choose this topic, I will probably narrow down to a more specific theme that connects a few women. I might tell the stories from the women's point of view, but I'm sure that's been done many times before, so I would want to put an additional spin on the retelling that would have to do with the narrower theme. The Golden Legend would be a good place to start reading for this topic.

Saint Gemma Galgani. Source: Wikimedia Commons.

Buddhist Jataka Tales

Last fall I took a class on death and dying, and we did an entire unit on reincarnation. The class was focused on death and dying in America, so after some reading about the basics of reincarnation around the world, we directed our attention to reincarnation beliefs in America. I thought the Buddhist vision of reincarnation was one of the most interesting, especially because it places emphasis on spiritual and moral aspects of life and rebirth. I also think the idea of the Buddha is interesting, and I like that the Jataka tales track his many lives. From the few Jataka stories I have already read, the theme of self-sacrifice seems like it is very prominent. I think this would be an interesting topic to explore if I wanted to narrow down my project a little. Laura's Jataka unit that draws from Shedlock would be a good place to start, as would Buddhist Birth Stories by T. W. Davids, which discusses the history of the tales in Buddhism and includes literal translations of the original stories.

Bhutanese painting depicting the Jataka tales.

Source: Wikimedia Commons.

Celtic Water Creatures

When I was very young, my mom and I would listen to a CD called The Seal Maiden. I loved this album, which was a story of a selkie in musical form. Recently, I listened to the album again and was transported back to my early childhood and drawn into the story, which I can appreciate and understand more now that I am older. I like the story of the selkie because it involves a protagonist who has lost her home, beautiful descriptions of the ocean, and the pain of being torn apart from two different families. It is a sad story but contains a lot of beauty. I would like to read more selkie stories, since they can be either women or men, and maybe stories about other underwater Celtic creatures, such as waterkelpies. Donald Mackenzie's Wonder Tales from Scottish Myth and Legend has some stories about mermaids and seal-people, and Walter Gregor's Folk-Lore of the North-East of Scotland has a story about waterkelpies.

Stamp of the Faroe Islands depicting a seal-woman (selkie).

Source: Wikimedia Commons.

Week 2 Story: The Ivory Girl

Pygmalion the artist lived in a small house, where his only company was his painting and sculpting tools. He loved his job as an artist, but as time went by his house seemed to get smaller and smaller and he became lonelier and lonelier.

"Only a woman," he thought, "can cure my loneliness." So he began his search for a wife, but no woman could please him. Everywhere he turned, he saw wickedness and shortcomings.

"These women are inferior to me," he sighed. "Not one will be a suitable wife." Returning to his art, Pygmalion wistfully sketched the lines of the perfect woman who only existed in his dreams. Suddenly, he dropped his pencil and leapt to his feet.

"That's it!" he gasped. "I will make my own woman, the perfect wife." Grabbing his chisel and pulling a block of ivory from the closet, Pygmalion began to create his masterpiece. He worked tirelessly until the statue was finished, and when he stepped back to admire it, he fell in love with the ivory curves made by his own hand.

Pygmalion lived happily with his statue for some time. He liked to gaze at her and wrap his arms around her. Eventually though, he started to want more.

"If only she were as warm and soft as flesh," he murmured, stroking her lifeless cheek one evening. "And if only she could bat her eyelashes and smile at me. Then she would truly be the perfect woman."

Venus, hearing his request and seeing a lesson to be learned, reached down from her station and touched a lock of ivory hair on the statue. Warmth gathered there and spread to the girl's head, traveling down and turning stone to flesh. Pygmalion, who had his arms around her, felt her soften against him. He grabbed her face, now warm and glowing, and pressed his lips against hers.

He felt hands on his chest, and at first they excited him until he realized that they were pushing him away. His statue's lips broke away from his, crying out in confusion.

"Who are you? How did I get here? Where have I come from?" the girl asked, shaking her head and gazing warily at Pygmalion.

Pygmalion, annoyed at the interruption, replied, "My dear, you know me. I am your creator and you are mine."

"I may be familiar to you," said the girl slowly, "but you are a stranger to me. I am not yours."

Pygmalion was beginning to grow nervous. He thought maybe he liked the girl better as a statue. She sounded like those other women whose hearts he believed to be inferior to his. Mustering up all his patience, he assured her, "You are mine. I made you and we are to be married and have a child together." He pulled her in again.

At this the girl spun around and stepped away from Pygmalion. "If you wanted me to be your statue, you should have kept me as ivory," she said indignantly. She strode toward the door.

Pygmalion lives alone to this day, still unaware that his heart is no better than any woman's. He has stopped including women in his sketches and sculptures, because even those he cannot control.

Diana of Gabii, sculpted by Praxiteles.

Source: Wikipedia.

Author's Note: "Pygmalion" is a story about a man who, thinking all women to be bad, sculpts his own woman out of ivory. In the original story, Venus grants his request to turn the statue into a real girl because she favors Pygmalion. The original story treats the girl as a statue even when she has become a person. She bashfully but readily accepts Pygmalion's advances and bears a child for him. In my retelling, I wanted the girl to be given the autonomy she deserves as a human, and I also wanted Pygmalion to be exposed for wrongly assuming women to have some failing of the heart that men don't have. Women aren't perfect because they're human, not because they're inferior to men.

Bibliography: "Pygmalion" from Ovid's Metamorphoses, translated by Tony Kline. Web source.

Reading Notes: "The Man in the Moon" and "Pygmalion"

"The Man in the Moon" stands out to me because I think its moral is readily applicable to modern life. The basic idea of the story is that a blacksmith is unhappy with his job because he is uncomfortable, so he asks to be something else, which is even more uncomfortable.   He continues to shape shift until he is the moon; at this point he remembers his old life as a blacksmith but cannot change back and is forever stuck as the moon. I think it is easy to identify with the blacksmith, even though he acts foolishly, because many of us have a tendency to wish we could have or be more, only to find out that we are still not satisfied when we reach that goal. To me, this story is a more interesting version of the adage "The grass is always greener on the other side."

"Pygmalion" is a unique story, and I liked how this particular retelling described the metamorphosis of the ivory woman. I thought the premise, that Pygmalion created his own ideal (but inanimate) woman because he was unsatisfied with those available to him, had promise for a lesson or moral, but instead Pygmalion just got everything he wanted. I was surprised that the ivory woman just bashfully accepted what was happening to her as she woke and had no problem marrying Pygmalion and bearing a child for him. Even when she becomes a real person, she is not treated as a real person in the story. This bothers me, which means it might be a good story for me to retell differently!

Pygmalion and Galatea, painted by Jean-Léon Gérôme

(Source: Wikimedia Commons)

Reading Options

I am pleasantly surprised at the vast amount of reading options available to us this semester! Especially exciting to me is the fact that the options come from all over the world, including cultures I've never even heard of, such as the Khasi people from India and Bangladesh. I've heard many Greek myths and Western fairy tales before, and while I'll be happy to revisit those stories and compare them to others, I'm pleased about the exposure to other cultures and styles of storytelling that I'll be getting.

Even though I just mentioned how excited I am to learn about other places through their stories, I'm going to start at home. One of the units I am very interested in is the Southwest/California Native American tales. I'm from New Mexico and proud of it, but I know shamefully little about the Native American tribes from our area. I've heard the Coyote trickster tales, but not much else. Creation stories are attractive to me, so I hope to read a variety of those. There are many in this unit! The Nigerian unit has many stories that explain why certain natural phenomena happen, especially concerning animals, and I find that interesting and closely connected to creation stories. I think I like to hear the different ways people explain how the world around them works and why it works that way, whether the explanation is literal or figurative.

I came across the Japanese mythology unit through the story randomizer on the UnTextbook site. The randomizer displayed the Japanese story "The Fortunate Fish-Hook" and I was drawn in by the artwork. I am a fan of a certain style of Japanese art that I think is best represented by Kawase Hasui, and the artwork for "The Fortunate Fish-Hook" reminded me of this style; I couldn't help clicking! I like that the book used for the Japanese mythology includes artwork, so I'll be returning to this unit.

Illustration from "The Fortunate Fish-Hook." 

From Romance of Old Japan.

Example of Kawase Hasui's work, from Wikimedia Commons.

I read Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie in high school, which filled me with a vague desire to educate myself on some Indian epics. While I'm not in the Indian Epics class, I was happy to see that there is a unit over Ramayana for us Mythology and Folklore people! I'd like to read this "brief retelling" in order to gain a basic knowledge of the events and themes of the epic (for cultural reference reasons) and so that I can maybe read longer versions in the future. I also see that there are other Indian units with great collections of stories that I'd be interested in reading as well.

There are many more units that sound interesting to me that I haven't yet explored; the last one I'll mention today is the Women Saints unit. I'm not Catholic, but I'm really intrigued by the mysticism of Catholicism and the many stories about saints. I'm also interested in the way women were treated and written about in the Middle Ages. I read the story of Saint Juliana, and her treatment was pretty disturbing; what was most disturbing to me was that her imprisonment for refusing to marry a powerful man seemed quite commonplace (although that could just be the language of the story). I liked Juliana's strong and steadfast character, and I found the conversation with the demon and other spiritual aspects of the story pretty interesting. Christianity from the Middle Ages is generally terrifying and never boring!

I plan to keep exploring the units, but I think I have enough to keep me occupied for the time being!